anixety and panic attacks part 2

This story when i started back college on 2013. I was week later for start new college year because the adverts of my mum in hospital
my first day at college i was really nerve and when sat down at computer and stay doing the work to chance up with everyone else . i am sitting at desk still nerve and my heart beating fast and legs feel a little weak and i start to have tear in my eye cause i was scared didnt know what going on since i never felt like this before. The college lecturer seen i was upset took me outside classroom door and ask what wrong. I told her i wasn’t well cause i didnt know how to explaon what was wrong so i went home early.
My step dad and mum and little brother came and got me and i ask to get me appointment to go see doctor. In the doctor i explain everything to the doctor all thing that happen and that when he told me i have anixety and panic attack and gave me perscription to get temp meds and side effect i got where bad one of side effect i could get sleep and it was 5 or 6 am i was up and i went in to real worst panic attack i every happen in my life . i was nerve about going back doctors and i remember laying in my bed upset saying to myself i want to go sleep and everytime closed my eyes my heart beated fast then around 5/6 i went in full panic and after i calm down i feel sleep for about 5 or ten mins then woke up and got a fright i felt like i was dying when i woke up so i heard my mum was up so i went down her bed and i fell asleep cause i felt safe and didnt wake up 4 or 5 pm in afternoon and i was sick and only time i was that day so i had something to eat and just relax and done nothing . 
returning college my mum came with me to lecturer and i was in shock what she siad . she thought that what happen and i cut some of my classes to half a day 3 days i was in and other excited happened after but few week i just went in half days.
but then i missed a few classes and day i went in i was chance up on 2 assessment and what took class weeks i passed in one afternoon and i was please with myslef and bit confidence came back but that didnt last end week was when i get money from college help with supply and getting college bur never went in and called college they cancelled it cause not in full day and i was upset and feeling let down after passing my assessment felt ready to go back full days and this happen broke my confidence and felt let down by college but never by lectuers was not they fault so i had to drop out something i never wanted to do .
until this day 3 and half year since i still feel let down by they choice and never felt confidence to go back . how much i would love it . its scares me to be let down again.
thanks for reading 

kristine 

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